Yoni confessions 02 | Tantric Yoni Healing massage - A must have experience for every woman
Updated: Feb 15, 2022
This is a series of blogs about the ancient wisdom of Tantra and a personal journey of self-discovery through the body. Yoni is a Sanskrit word that means vagina and ‘Yoni massage’ is a sacred Tantric practice focused on massaging the vagina internally. The last blog discussed yoni massage as a self-practice and its potency on forming a deep relationship with the self through the body. In this blog, I will explore Tantric Yoni healing massage as part of a tantric session, how it works and its benefits.
Diving deep
“When I received a yoni massage for the first time I came across a ‘wall’ that felt impenetrable. A ‘metallic’ sensation of a different kind of ‘pain’ that was not just physical. My body could of course ‘stretch’ and has stretched before, but in that moment I felt tense and ‘impenetrable’. I felt a wave of shame, that took over my mind and brought me out of my body for a moment, but seemed like centuries. Was this shame my own? Then I heard the therapist calling “Are you still with me? Just focus on your breath and feel what is there”. He only had his pinky finger at the entrance of my yoni, barely even moving, when I felt a bubbling intensity starting from my cervix, taking over my pelvis, going up through my spine into my heart and coming out as a cry in emotional release.
Moments of emptiness were broken by memories of the past that resurfaced in that instant. I saw faces of men I had slept with (and apparently still held inside me even though I had no idea I did), and images from another ‘space and time’. I felt I was in a ‘no-time zone’. My initial emotional response which included crying, shouting, trembling, was followed by a deep feeling of peace, laughter, waves of electric energy and breath that felt orgasmic.
What brought me into the experience was not the parts of me that are expanded, balanced, stable, the adult that can make sense of things. It was all those that were broken, suffering, trembled in fear, shame, guilt, pain...Those parts of me that remained ‘dormant’ or suppressed at the ages of 3, 5, 12, 18...
His ‘finger’ served as a reflection; same as when I hug someone and get to ‘feel’ my own body because of the ‘density’ I come into contact. The space was held in response to my body, waiting in stillness until I was ready to proceed. I didn’t feel at any point that I was rushed, forced or expected to behave in any particular way.
I recall a moment of deep embodied understanding that pain, grief, fear, when fully felt, are replaced by joy and pleasure. A space of neutrality in between, just like the space between inbreath and outbreath. I started feeling unprecedented sensations inside my yoni and parts that felt like ‘new’. That was the first time I understood that the door for pain and pleasure is the same.”