Updated: Feb 15
This is a series of blogs about the ancient wisdom of Tantra and a personal journey of self-discovery through the female body. In this first blog, I am discussing about what is Yoni massage, the ways that a woman can experience one and focusing on Yoni massage as a self-practice.
‘Yoni’ and Yoni massage
Yoni is a Sanskrit word that means Vulva and ‘Yoni massage’ is a sacred Tantric practice focused on massaging the vulva and vagina internally. There are three ways that a woman can experience a yoni massage; as a self-practice, a ritual between lovers and in the context of a Tantric bodywork session.
The journey begins ..
“As I was caressing my body touching different areas to release tension before falling asleep my hands literally took over and started touching my vulva. I was in a state, in between sleep and awake, but this ‘direction’ surprised me enough to disturb the flow. I remember thinking ‘What is this? I am really sleepy and I don’t feel like masturbating’. An internal voice, even louder than this thought said ‘just let go, surrender. I was sleepy enough to give in. I cannot pin point to what exactly happened in that deep letting go, but it felt like an ancient knowing, an intelligence stronger than cognitive understanding, took over me. I was not ‘doing’ anything and most certainly nothing that felt like masturbation. My fingers, inside my vagina were pressing points that were automatically causing electric shocks throughout my whole body and initiating a chain of memories, sensations, crying, laughter and profound insights. When the process felt completed my hand stayed inside me without moving, bringing memories of how fast men get out of my vagina just before they ejaculate and how traumatic that actually is for my body. For a moment I felt angry for allowing this, before immersing in tears of bliss. “I didn’t know I had the option not to”...
I remember thinking ‘Oh my God what was this? If I could say I have met my soul this would be it. My yoni (I didn't know the word yoni at the time) acquired a different meaning; it felt like a cosmic gate, a bridge between the physical and the divine. This was perhaps a once in a lifetime experience, just like everything that we come to ‘taste’ for the first time. It made so much sense, on so many levels. I felt ‘initiated’ to a different Woman and it was strong enough to give me a taste of the depth of the healing required.
I thought to myself; “There are so many women that have the need to heal sexual and birth trauma, clear imprints of past lovers and work through blockages around sexuality and body shame. I need to learn how to share this”.
It occurred to me how much of my sexual blueprint was programmed to have the orgasm as a goal or destination, and the erogenous zones as a fast ‘turn-on to reach the ‘entrance’. How many times as a woman I felt ‘rushed through’ a sexual experience? How many times making love with different partners felt like they were all holding the same manual of buttons to press to turn me on?
Being largely curious to understand what happened that night, and overcoming my initial resistance to the insanity of the idea I started learning more about different yoni massage techniques. ‘Following the breadcrumbs’ brought me to Taoism and Tantra.
Yoni massage as a self practice
Yoni Tantric massage can be a self-practice, a discipline that provides the space for a woman to form a deep relationship with the innermost aspect of herself, as well as love and accept her body. It is a ritual taught as part of tantric education.
Tantra teaches us how to access and harness sexual energy and manage it in a way that it is not only used for healing the body but also tapping into highly spiritual and deeply expansive sexual experiences that regular sex can never offer. It is the kind of deep healing that works in so many levels of the being.
It is a very meditative process which follows a fundamental principle of Tantra which is letting go of expectation and the ‘goal oriented’ approach of reaching somewhere (in this case an orgasm). It is in fact this fundamental mindset together with a special tantric breath work and touch that transforms the mechanical ‘self pleasuring’ to an esoteric mystical journey through the body. I share my years of experience and deepening into my own self practice, with other women in my Sexual Alchemy Course - "Pleasure as Medicine".
Yoni massage between lovers
Yoni massage can also be practiced between lovers to deepen their connection and start opening to a more devotional, sacred way of love making. Having said that, I truly feel that as a woman I have the responsibility of learning and exploring my own body’s sexual healing and expansive potential; the kind of touch my yoni wants to receive, the types of orgasms my body is capable of experiencing. Regardless whether I am in a relationship or not. Only this way I can guide my partner and let him know what feels right for me in the moment. This is not to disregard the necessity for true sexual education for men as their own self-practice. There is an unlearning that needs to happen in order for lovers to get out of habitual love making behaviours and experience that full potential of giving and receiving through a tantric yoni massage.
Tantric therapeutic Yoni massage
Yoni healing massage can also be received by a trained Tantric therapist as part of a tantric therapeutic massage.Note here that a yoni massage can never be practice on its own without a full body massage preceding the practice. Think of a woman’s body like a machine that needs to warm up so the ‘oils’ can run through before it can get going.
Tantric Yoni massage is one of the most sacred practices I have ever experienced and an ancient, timeless gift to humanity. In the following part of this blog I will talk about Tantric Yoni healing massage as part of a tantric session, how it works and its benefits, plus overcoming resistance of having one.