Yoni confessions 01. Tantric Yoni massage; A self practice that changed my Life

This is a series of blogs about the ancient wisdom of Tantra and a personal journey of self-discovery through the female body. In this first blog, I am discussing about what is Yoni massage, the ways that a woman can experience one and focusing on Yoni massage as a self-practice.

‘Yoni’ and Yoni massage

Yoni is a Sanskrit word that means Vulva and ‘Yoni massage’ is a sacred Tantric practice focused on massaging the vulva and vagina internally. There are three ways that a woman can experience a yoni massage; as a self-practice, a ritual between lovers and in the context of a Tantric bodywork session.

The journey begins ..

“As I was caressing my body touching different areas to release tension before falling asleep my hands literally took over and started touching my vulva. I was in a state, in between sleep and awake, but this ‘direction’ surprised me enough to disturb the flow. I remember thinking ‘What is this? I am really sleepy and I don’t feel like masturbating’. An internal voice, even louder than this thought said ‘just let go, surrender. I was sleepy enough to give in. I cannot pin point to what exactly happened in that deep letting go, but it felt like an ancient knowing, an intelligence stronger than cognitive understanding, took over me. I was not ‘doing’ anything and most certainly nothing that felt like masturbation. My fingers, inside my vagina were pressing points that were automatically causing electric shocks throughout my whole body and initiating a chain of memories, sensations, crying, laughter and profound insights. When the process felt completed my hand stayed inside me without moving, bringing memories of how fast men get out of my vagina just before they ejaculate and how traumatic that actually is for my body. For a moment I felt angry for allowing this, before immersing in tears of bliss. “I didn’t know I had the option not to”...

I remember thinking ‘Oh my God what was this? If I could say I have met my soul this would be it. My yoni (I didn't know the word yoni at the time) acquired a different meaning; it felt like a cosmic gate, a bridge between the physical and the divine. This was perhaps a once in a lifetime experience, just like everything that we come to ‘taste’ for the first time. It made so much sense, on so many levels. I felt ‘initiated’ to a different Woman and it was strong enough to give me a taste of the depth of the healing required.

I thought to myself; “There are so many women that have the need to heal sexual and birth trauma, clear imprints of past lovers and work through blockages around sexuality and body shame. I need to learn how to share this”.

It occurred to me how much of my sexual blueprint was programmed to have the orgasm as a goal or destination, and the erogenous zones as a fast ‘turn-on to reach the ‘entrance’. How many times as a woman I felt ‘rushed through’ a sexual experience? How many times making love with different partners felt like they were all holding the same manual of buttons to press to turn me on?

Being largely curious to understand what happened that night, and overcoming my initial resistance to the insanity of the idea I started learning more about different yoni massage techniques. ‘Following the breadcrumbs’ brought me to Taoism and Tantra.

Yoni massage as a self practice

Yoni Tantric massage can be a self-practice, a discipline that provides the space for a woman to form a deep relationship with the innermost aspect of herself, as well as love and accept her body. It is a ritual taught as part of tantric education.